Those Damn Butterflies
by Secretsmile13
Summary: A Rory and Jess story, set a year after the series finale. Older and wiser, can they get the second chance they both so desperately want?
1. Chapter 1

She fishes around in her handbag for the keycard. Finally, she lets herself in, kicks off her shoes and flops down on the bed. She'd been on her feet all day, attending a press conference in Chicago and then covering a speech Obama made at the University. She'd earned herself an hour's nap before writing up her article for the following day. Closing her eyes, she feels her body relax, but the early evening sun glares at her through the open curtains. Groaning, she hauls herself off the bed to close the drapes. On returning, something catches her eye by the door and she pads over to pick up a small, hand-written card.

_'Miss Gilmore. There is a package for you at Reception. Please collect at your convenience.'_

Her face scrunches up in confusion. _A package? From who?_ _Maybe Mom's sent me a care package to keep me going._ Returning to the bed, she climbs under the covers, sets an alarm on her cell phone and quickly forgets about it.

An hour later, an incessant beeping wakes her from a very nice dream. _Damnit_, she thinks, but rolls over and climbs out of bed. Flicking on the tv, she catches up on the day's news and fires up her laptop. She sets about making some coffee, hotel room coffee, she was getting so sick of this. It's been almost a year now, going from city to city, hotel room to hotel room. Of course she loved it, the writing, the experience, but she had to admit it was getting old now, hardly ever seeing her mom, her friends.

Coffee in hand, she sits down and begins going through her notes from the day. After 20 minutes, inspiration has failed to hit her, she can't find a good angle to write this from. She needs a break. Turning to face the bed, the note catches her eye, still resting on the left side of the bed where she doesn't sleep. A care package, yes that's just what she needs! Grabbing her keycard, she pulls on some flats and heads down to reception.

A cheerful young man greets her, young, probably a part-time job while he studies, she thinks.

"Good evening Miss, how can I help you?"

Quickly reading his nametag, she replies. "Hi Jake, I think there's a package here for me. Rory Gilmore, room 408."

"Let me just check for you." He turns and heads into the room behind reception. She turns around to admire the foyer. It's simple and clean, all she can really expect in her current position. She's stayed in some interesting places this past year, this place will most definitely do. Friendly staff, clean bedding, what more can she ask for.

Returning to reception, Jake hands her a large manila envelope. "Here you go Miss Gilmore, if I could just get you to sign to say you've received it."

She signs in the box and thanks Jake, returning to the stairs. As she begins the 4 flight climb, she squeezes the package suspiciously. _This doesn't seem like a care package_. Studying the handwritten address more closely and looking at the postmark, her feet stop working and her heart skips a few beats. 'Philadelphia'.

"Oh my god," she says out loud to herself and tries to will her legs into moving again. Eventually, she finishes climbing to the 4th floor and almost runs along the corridor towards her room. She sits on the edge of the bed immediately, afraid she might fall over if she doesn't, her head's so cloudy all of a sudden. _'What's he sending me?' _she wonders. _'I haven't heard from him in almost 2 years."_

She turns the package over in her hands a few times, almost afraid to open it. Her heart's beating a thousand times a minute, _how does he still have the ability to do this to me? He's not even here!_ Eventually, she peels open the large envelope and pulls out the contents.

**The Strangers**

**By Jess Mariano**

Stuck to the front cover of the manuscript, complete with cheap black plastic binding, was a large yellow post-it, complete with his scrawl.

_There's no one else in the world whose opinion I value more than yours. If you have the time, I'd love to know what you think. J x_

He'd included a phone number underneath. She was gobsmacked. _He's done it again, he's written another book_! Her article is forgotten and she sits back on the bed, upright against the headboard. She reads and reads, until 10pm rolls around. She's still only halfway through, this one's longer than 'The Subsect', but she can barely keep her eyes open any longer. Reluctantly, she places the manuscript on the bedside table and gets herself ready for bed, changing into her pyjamas, brushing her teeth and taking off her make-up.

As she turns off the light and closes her eyes, it occurs to her that she hasn't had dinner. But she's not hungry, her stomach's still doing backflips. She'll call him tomorrow, when she's finished, and she toys with a idea in her head. _No, don't be stupid. You can't go there again, it's been too long. Just read the book, tell him what you think and that'll be it. Do not see him, you can't handle that._

She falls asleep with images of a brown-haired boy running through her head and she dreams of two teenagers sitting on a bridge, reading books and kissing in the spring sunshine.


	2. Chapter 2

She wakes early the next morning from an unsettled sleep. Her work day doesn't begin until 10am so after a quick toilet trip, she snuggles back under the covers and continues with the manuscript. She's pulled back into his world quickly and before she knows it, the clock reads 9:20.

"Damnit!" she jumps out of bed and hurries to get ready. She's out the door in 15 minutes, the manuscript stuffed into her handbag. At lunch, she grabs a coffee and a sandwich and finds a quiet corner to continue reading.

Just after 8pm, she finally puts it down on her bed, back in her hotel room. She's taken every opportunity to read throughout the day, unable to keep her mind off it, or him. She sighs and sinks back against the headboard. _It's good. It's really good._ It's different to his last novel, the characters are more developed, with richer backstories. It also has more of a romantic theme, though you wouldn't quite call it a love story. She can tell parts of it are based on their relationship, subtle hints he's put along the way that remind her of the time they spent together. It's beautiful. She knows right there and then that she has to call him. Now.

Dialing the number on the post-it, he picks up on the third ring.

"Hello?"

"Hi, it's me….it's Rory."

After a beat he replies, "Took you long enough. Slow reader much?"

"Hey! I've been reading practically non-stop since I got it! But a girl's gotta eat, sleep and work you know!"

"Excuses excuses. So…what'd you think?" He sounded nervous.

"Jess…it's beautiful I loved it! It's rough around the edges, sure, but I love that about it. The relationship is so damaged, they have so much history, and that's reflected in how it's written. I just…I can't even begin to tell you how much I loved it Jess. I can't believe you've done it again….I'm so proud of you."

He laughs shyly. "Well…thanks. It's not even close to finished, there are so many changes I need to make. But it's getting there. I just wanted your opinion."

"That means a lot to me, thank you. End's kind of depressing isn't it?"

"Well, life isn't a fairytale. It doesn't always turn out how you want it to. Sometimes the one you love slips through your fingers."

She could sense the heartfelt meaning in his words, his voice soft and quiet. "Yeah, I guess. Well, I loved it. I can't wait to read the finished copy."

"Haha, I'll make sure to send you one as soon as it's done."

"Hey, how did you know where I was? I move around so much!"

"Luke. I called him to ask if he had a number for you and he told me you'd be at the hotel for a few days; I took my chances."

"Well, I'm glad you did. It's really nice to talk to you."

"You too." A long silence passes between them. Rory can hear people's voices in the background, she guessed he was working at Truncheon. She fiddled with the tassels on the blanket on her bed and contemplated something.

"Listen…I'm gonna be in Philly next month for a few days, Obama's got a couple of events scheduled around the city. You wanna meet up for a drink? I'd love to pick your brains on this a bit more."

His heart skipped a beat. _See her? Could he handle that?_ "Um, yeah sure. Just call me nearer the time to let me know when you're coming."

"Ok, will do. Thanks for sending me this Jess, it means a lot."

"No problem. You know you're the one who started all of this…so, I kind of owed you that."

She smiled, he was always so humble, refusing to accept a compliment.

"I'll see you in a few weeks then."

"Yeah. Bye Rory."

"Bye."

As she hung up, she notices the butterflies. Those damn butterflies. They didn't leave her alone for the next few weeks.


	3. Chapter 3

The next few weeks flew by for both of them. Rory visited Cleveland and Washington, even finding time to pop home to see her mom and Lane after a visit to New York. Meanwhile, Jess kept himself busy at work, meeting clients, organising readings and editing the book. She thought of him every day, thought about what it would be like to see him again. What she would wear, what they would talk about. He thought of her every day, her dazzling smile, her soft, shiny hair, the way she always made him laugh. She called him on the Monday to tell him she'd be in Philly on Thursday morning. She'd settle in to her hotel and then attend a speech she was covering until around 5. They agreed to meet for dinner. She'd come by Truncheon around 7.

The clock read 6.05. She'd rushed home and jumped in the shower. Putting on some make-up, she tried to hide her puffy eyes. She'd not gotten much sleep last night, tossing and turning for hours. She dries and straightens her hair, sweeping her bangs loosely to the side so that they fall a little over her eyes. Turning to her suitcase, which she hasn't bothered to unpack, she's never in one place for long enough, she rifles through it. It's a chilly evening so she opts for black jeans. She searches for her favourite top, a silky blue one with thin straps and teams it with a white cardigan. Throwing on a grey fitted jacket and slipping on her favourite black heeled boots, she takes one last look in the mirror before grabbing her purse and heading out the door. She's so nervous now she can barely walk straight, so when she has to wait for the elevator, she's grateful for a few moments to catch her breath. _Why am I getting so worked up about this? It's just Jess, _she thinks. _Because last time you saw him you kissed him and ran out the door you idiot!_ She shakes her head to get rid of that awful memory, the pain she saw on his face when she told him she was still with Logan. The elevator arrives and before she knows it, she's in a cab on the way to Truncheon.

It's a short ride, shorter than she expected, she probably could have walked. She pays the driver and steps out of the car, standing like an idiot on the sidewalk, staring at the door with the little sign over it. It takes her a minute to muster up the courage to move forwards, she wishes she'd had a glass of wine before she came, just to calm her nerves. With a deep breath, she moves towards the door and pushes her way into the empty store. It's obviously closed, the main lights off; he's probably left the door open for her. Moving through the main area, she runs her fingertips across some of the books on the shelves, making a mental note to peruse them further when she gets a chance. Walking over to the desk where the till sits, she notices a note written on a yellow legal pad.

_"Rory, we're upstairs, just knock."_

Behind the desk, slightly to the left, was a wooden staircase. She took another deep breath and started to climb. She knocked on the door and waited, listening to the muffled voices on the other side. Finally, the door opened and there he was, smiling at her from ear to ear.

"Hey you."

"Hey back," she replied shyly. He reached out and took her right arm, pulling her into a hug. _Were they hug people? Had they ever hugged?_ The contact of his body against hers immediately started a fire all over her, reminding her of times they'd spent pressed together like this in a much more horizontal manner.

"It's good to see you," he mumbles into her hair. Breaking apart, she replied,

"You too." She smiled a soft smile and he melted inside.

"Come in," he moves aside to let her pass.

The apartment was bigger than she expected. The front door opened into a spacious living area, complete with couch, coffee table, tv and 2 huge bookcases, overflowing with books. Behind that, a small open-plan kitchen with breakfast bar separating it from the main living area. To the right was a corridor, which she guessed let to the bedrooms and bathroom.

"How many of you live here?" she asked.

"3 of us. Matt and Chris you may have met briefly when you were here last, we run the store together." She blanched at the thought of the last time she was here and he kicked himself for mentioning it, he didn't want to bring that up tonight.

"Well, it's nice. I like it."

"Yeah….we totally cleaned up before you got here. I'm afraid we normally live among the mess."

She laughed, "Well, you didn't have to do that on my account. I just like seeing where you live."

With that, the other two men came bounding into the room. Jess sighed and ran his hand through his hair, turning away from Rory.

"I thought I asked you guys to stay in there!"

"You did, one of them replied. We chose to ignore you. Hi! I'm Matt," he extended his hand to Rory, who shook it.

"Rory," she introduced herself.

"This is Chris," he pointed to the taller man beside him. She shook his hand too.

"So….you're Rory," Matt continued. "It's nice to finally meet you, Jess has told us a lot about you."

"Oh really?" she raised an eyebrow at Jess.

"OK!" Jess laughed, blushing and took Rory by the arm, leading her towards the door. "And that's why we're going out for dinner."

As Jess shrugged on his jacket, Chris finally chipped in. "Oh come on man! We're just playing around. Let her stay, we've got lots of questions for her."

"Exactly. Bye guys." And with that, they were out the door.


	4. Chapter 4

They walked and talked through the streets of Philadelphia. The sun was just setting as the evening breeze picked up. Their conversation flowed freely, Rory's work, Jess's work, his writing, her mom and Luke.

"So where are we going?" she asked.

"Just a bar, over the water towards the University. It's nothing special but it does great burgers."

"Sounds great." They walked on for a while in silence, Rory taking in this new city. He stole sideways glances at her when he knew she wasn't looking. She looked amazing. Dressed casually, her hair fell over her face sexily and he had an urge to sweep his fingers over her bangs, to brush them behind her ear.

They reached the bar and Jess held the door open for her. He led her towards a booth in the corner. It was busy, people drinking and chatting after a day at work, and a live band played in the corner. This was just his kind of place, good food and live music, his passion. They sat in the corner at right angles, the bench curved so their legs touched occasionally under the table. The waitress came to their table after a few minutes and took their orders, beers and burgers. She was pretty, very pretty, long blonde hair tied up in a ponytail, and she eyes Jess lustfully through thick eyelashes. Jess barely looked up from his menu. When she left, Rory leaned in and asked,

"You really have no idea what you do to women do you?"

He looked bemused.

She chuckled. "That waitress was totally giving you the eyes, she barely looked at me."

"Well, what can I say? When you've got it!" he gestured towards his body and they both laughed. The waitress returned with their beers and Jess looked directly at her, thanking her with a dazzling smile. The waitress blushed and flashed a smug look at Rory. As she left, Rory laughed,

"Ouch! If looks could kill!"

He laughed again. "She's just jealous." When she looked confused, he continued. "Well, I'm sat here with the most beautiful woman in the bar."

She swore her heart stopped. They held each others gaze for a long time, too long. Eventually, she tore her eyes away, blushing furiously and looking down at her hands. He picked up his bottle and held it out to her,

"Cheers." They clinked and both took big gulps of their beers. Rory felt she needed it now. They'd gone from zero to flirting in 60 seconds. She was nervous, very nervous and by the way his fingers were tapping on his bottle, she guessed he was too. His heart was pounding, _why had he said that? Some things need to stay in your head Mariano!_ He shifted uncomfortably in his seat and his left leg brushed against her right. He heard her sharp intake of breath, but she didn't move away. Eventually, they began chatting again, keeping their topics very PG-13. Their food arrived and they tucked in.

She quizzed him on the book, unpicked his characters, praised her favourite parts, gently criticised what she didn't think worked and asked about his inspirations for it. She loved watching him talk about something he was so passionate about and he loved arguing about literature with her, deflecting her criticisms and justifying his choices.

20 minutes later, the waitress returned to clear their plates. Jess didn't look at her this time and she retreated grumpily.

"So," he started. "Luke told me about that guy. Logan, was it?" she nodded. "I'm sorry it didn't work out."

She laughed, "Ha! No you're not!"

He smiled, "No, you're right, I'm not, the guy was a jackass. But I'm sorry you're not happy."

"Who says I'm not happy? It wasn't right, at the time, but that was a long time ago now, I'm fine." She seemed genuine in that last statement, maybe she was over him, he thought.

"What happened? If you don't mind me asking."

She took a swig of her beer, almost finishing it. She paused. "He…he asked me to marry him."

Jess almost choked on his beer. "What?!"

She chucked, "Yeeeeeah, I know."

"Wow," he raised his eyebrows.

"I loved him, I did. But. I don't know. It just wasn't right. I couldn't follow him and be a trophy wife, there's still so many things I want to do." A long silence fell between them. "It should be easy, shouldn't it? When you love someone? To make that decision? But I'd never even thought of marrying him, it was totally out of the blue. I dunno, I just think, when someone's the one, it should be the easiest decision ever."

He'd never heard her talk about love like this. She looked at him with a look that he couldn't put his finger on and stared for a long time, an unsaid emotion passing through them. Finally, Jess blinked and held up his empty bottle.

"You want another one?"

"Please," she nodded. He left the table and she could finally breathe. When he returned, she'd plucked up the courage to ask and blurted out,

"So what about you? Anyone in the picture?"

"Me? No. Not for a while now," he looked down at his fingers, picking at the label on his bottle. She could tell he wouldn't say any more. They stayed at the bar for another hour, drinking and telling stories of the past few years of their lives. She'd missed his company and was surprised at how easy it was to fall back into conversation with him. Eventually, they began reminiscing about the times they'd spent together as teenagers.

"Remember Shane? I hated her," she laughed.

He returned the laugh, "Of course you did, I only went out with her to make you jealous! Evidently it worked," he grinned and took another swig of his beer.

She gasped and playfully hit him on the arm. "You ass! That's awful!"

"Well it worked pretty well didn't it. I got you in the end."

She smiled, a genuinely heartfelt smile. "Yeah, you did," she replied softly. They held each other's gaze for a few moments.

"It was good, wasn't it? What we had? I know I didn't treat you right, but…"

She interrupted him, putting her hand on his forearm. "It was good." They smiled at each other, eyes locking once again.

"I'm sorry," he finally said. She raised her eyebrows, what was he apologising for? "I'm so sorry Rory. I was just a kid, I didn't realise what I had right in front of me, until it was gone." He looked down.

She took her hand away. "It was a long time ago Jess, it doesn't matter anymore."

"It does. It does matter. You deserved better. How we ended, at that stupid party, I was such an idiot."

"Don't Jess. It was such a long time ago, we're different people now. It's in the past. Besides, that night, I wanted to. I wanted to be with you, just not there, like that."

His eyes snapped to hers.

She took a deep breath. "I would have slept with you….soon. I wanted to. It just wasn't meant to be I guess."

They both finished their beers. "You ready to go?" he asked.

"Yeah," she took out her purse.

He held up his hand, "Don't be silly, I got this."

She smiled, "You don't have to do that." He raised his eyebrows. "Thank you," she said. He went to the bar to pay and she shrugged on her coat. She watched the waitress hurry over to him and try to make conversation. She smiled inwardly and got up to join him, making the waitress scowl again. He grinned sideways at her, knowing she did that on purpose, and they strode out the door into the cold Philadelphia evening.


	5. Chapter 5

They strolled across the bridge, in a comfortable silence, towards Truncheon and Rory's hotel. Rory noted how comfortable she felt in his company once again and wondered how she could feel this way so quickly. The breeze had picked up a little, so Rory pulled her jacket tighter around her. As they walked, their arms brushed up against one another occasionally, sending the familiar tingles through Rory's body. She wondered if she'd ever be able to be in his company without these feelings; just being in the same room as him made her heart race.

It was well past 10 and the city lights now twinkled ahead of them, reflecting off the water.

"It's really beautiful here, I had no idea," Rory remarked.

"It'll do, for now."

"You don't see yourself staying?"

Jess shrugged. "I don't know, it's right for now, but who knows where I'll end up."

She gave a quick, quiet laugh. "What?" he asked.

"Just you." She glanced sideways through her eyelashes at him. "You never were a small town kind of guy. You're meant to see the world. I can imagine you living in Japan or Europe, wherever the writing takes you!" She paused. "I'm a little in awe of you to be honest."

"What?!" he exclaimed incredulously.

She shrugged. "You're so free, so brave. You can go wherever you want, do whatever you want to do. You're gonna do amazing things and I'm...jealous of that I guess."

A short silence passed between them, Jess' thoughts a whirlwind through his mind.

Finally, he stopped walking and spoke. "You..." Another pause, he couldn't find the words. He sighed, exasperated and ran a hand through his hair. "You are amazing Rory Gilmore. You're a journalist! You're living your dream. Sure the travelling might be a pain in the ass right now, but you're out there, doing what you love. Don't be jealous of me! You can do whatever you want to do! Go to Japan, go to Europe! You're 24 years old and you have the world at your feet. So please...don't waste your life being jealous of someone like me."

He turned and continued walking, Rory following silently. They were nearing the end of the bridge. Her mind flashed back to when she had seen him 3 years ago, that reality check he had given her. The one she needed to get her back to Yale. When exactly had he become the wise voice of reason in her life? "What's on the agenda for tomorrow then?" She's awoken from her reverie.

"Um...he's talking at the University at 11 o'clock, then there's the usual meet and greet, should be done by about 2. Then he's attending a benefit in the evening which I have to be at."

"And you're off the next day?" he asks.

"Yep, back to D.C I think, I'm not sure to be honest, I lose track."

"Must be hard, being on the road all the time."

"Yeah," she replies melancholy. "I miss my mom and everyone back home, but I actually get to see them more than I thought. Obama's often in New York or Boston, so I try to pop home when I can."

"Do you have to cover everything he does, or can you take time off? Is there anyone to cover for you?"

"Yeah I guess, but I haven't yet. I don't have to cover everything, just enough for a column a day. Obviously I don't miss the big things, but there is a certain amount of sitting in hotel rooms in between events. Don't get me wrong, I love it, I'm just looking forward to it all being over."

"Yeah, not long now I guess, things must be getting pretty busy closer to the election though."

"Yeah, they are. I foresee an exhausting couple of months ahead of me!"

"Well, for what it's worth, I'll miss not reading it every day."

She stops dead. "You read my column?"

"Of course. Every day." Jess stares intently into her eyes and she feels a blush creep over her. Looking down, she smiles, humbled that this boy...no...man, takes the time to think of her every day.

They walk on, now shielded from the wind by the tall city buildings. She lets Jess lead the way toward her hotel, leading her this way and that, knowing the city, his city, like the back of his hand. Suddenly, a cold breeze passes and Rory feels a raindrop on her cheek. Jess must feel it too as he speeds up. They walk briskly, Rory almost running to keep up in her heels, as the rain falls more heavily around them. After a minute, it's pouring, Rory's hair already plastered to her face.

"Jess!" she cries out, half laughing.

He turns to look at her, before grabbing her hand. "Quick, in here." He pulls her into the doorway of an apartment block, shielding them temporarily from the rain. They stand, both breathing heavily, their bodies pressed together in the small space, waiting for the commotion to die down.

"How much further is my hotel?" she asks.

"5 or 10 minutes, not too far now. Best let the worst of this pass first though. Don't want you catching hypothermia."

She laughs quietly. They stand facing each other, heads turned to the side, looking out into the street as passers-by run to avoid the unpredictable weather. It's then that she notices he hasn't let go of her hand. She turns her head to gaze up at him, examining his stubbly chin and well defined jaw, moving up to his untamed dark brown locks. He's changed his hair from the last time she saw him, cutting it shorter, like he had in high school. She smiles as she briefly remembers running her hands through it all those years ago.

He must sense her gaze on him, as he turns his head down to look at her. With their proximity, their faces are mere inches from each other. Rory takes a quick intake of breath, parting her lips involuntarily, surprised by the feeling that surges through her body from his intense gaze. They stare into each other's eyes for a few moments, neither daring to move. Jess' eyes flick quickly to her lips and back up again and slowly, very slowly, she moves her body into his. Still holding his right hand with her left, she raises her right hand to grip the edge of his open jacket. She hears his breath hitch and an adorably confused look crosses his face. Leaning in further, she raises up to press her lips against his. But before she can, she feels him move away from her. Opening her eyes, she sees his face scrunched up, almost in pain.

"I can't..." he whispers. "I...I ca..." Releasing her hand, he steps out into the street, turns and begins walking through the rain once more, leaving Rory standing frozen in the doorway, watching him leave. After a few beats, she moves to follow him, calling after him.

"Jess! Jess, wait." She runs to catch up with him. "Please, just stop." She reaches him and grabs his arm. He whirls around to face her.

"What?!" he yells, startling her. "What do you want me to say? I just can't do this OK! I can't do this again."

"What do you mean?"

"This!" he gestures with his hand back and forth between them. "This thing between us. I hurt you, you hurt me, it never changes." He raises both hands to the back of his head, exasperated, and takes a few steps away from her.

"When you came here last time, I thought you'd come here for me. I thought...I dunno, I thought maybe you wanted something for us. But what you did...that hurt me...a lot. It took me a long time to get over that and honestly...I'm not sure I can handle that happening again."

She was speechless. She had no idea she'd hurt him so badly and she'd certainly never heard him speak so honestly with her.

"I'm sorry," she replied softly over the sound of the rain beating down on them both. "I didn't know. I didn't realise. I..." she trailed off. "I didn't come here to hurt you Jess. Not now, not last time. I would never do that to you intentionally."

Jess nodded, but remained silent.

She continued. "But you can't tell me that you didn't feel something between us just then. That you haven't felt it all night. Or is it just me? Because I've had these butterflies in my stomach ever since we spoke on the phone last month. I honestly don't know how you do it, but you have the ability to make me feel completely helpless just by being in the same room as me. When you look at me, I can't breathe and even after all these years, it takes seconds of being in your company to make me feel exactly how I felt about you when I was 17 years old."

She'd shouted that last bit above the rain and they now both stood, breathless, staring at each other, soaked to the skin. Finally, after about a minute, Jess broke the silence.

"Come on, let's get you back before you get sick."

He turned to walk on and she dutifully followed. Neither of them spoke for the rest of their journey. The rain eased off so it was now just drizzling and both their minds were racing, trying to process the events of the last 5 minutes. Eventually, they reached Rory's hotel. Jess stopped outside and turned to face her.

"Do you wanna come in and dry off? I have clean towels," she asked, though she wasn't hopeful.

"No, thanks. I think I'm just gonna head home."

"OK. Well, thanks for dinner," she replied awkwardly.

"Yeah, no problem. Bye." And with that, he turned and walked away, leaving her alone to process the night's events.


	6. Chapter 6

**I would love some more reviews. So I know whether you guys are enjoying it or I should just give up!**

Arriving back at her hotel room, she closes the door behind her and leans against it with a sigh. _What the hell just happened?_ She'd wanted to kiss him, really wanted to. All night. And when they were so close together like that, she just couldn't stop herself. She didn't understand what it was about him that made her feel this way. So confused. No-one else had ever come close to making her feel the way Jess does, not Dean, not even Logan.

Kicking her shoes off by the door, she walked into the room, past the bathroom and sat on the edge of the bed, putting her head in her hands. She was exhausted and her heart was still racing. She decided a shower would probably help, mostly to try to wash away the horrible memory of him telling her how much she hurt him.

20 minutes later, she emerged, a little calmer and more relaxed. She towel dried her hair and let it hang, loose waves cascading over her shoulders. Pulling on one of the hotel robes, she turned on the tv and flicked through the channels. Settling on a news channel and flopping down on the bed, she tried to focus, aiming to catch up with anything she'd missed on the election. After a few minutes, she felt her eyes drooping, she was too exhausted from the day to take in anything she was hearing. She was just beginning to drop off when she heard a faint knock on the door. Her eyes snapped open and, turning the tv off, she made her way to the door. Looking through the peephole, she saw him, and just like that, her heart began to race again.

Slowly, very slowly, she opened the door and they stood silently staring at each other. "Hi," she finally said.

"I've been walking around the block for the last half hour, trying decide whether or not to come up here," he replied.

"You're soaking, come in." She moved to the side to let him in and he brushed up against her. Her breathing spiked. _Damn him, how does he do this?_ She closed the door behind him and walked over to pick up an oversized Yale oodies she sometimes wore to bed.

"Here," she handed it to him.

"Thanks," he took the oodies from her. He took off his jacket and hung it over the back of a chair. Peeling off his sweater and t-shirt, Rory couldn't help but stare at him. She'd only seen him shirtless twice, once when he'd showered at Luke's before a date, emerging from the bathroom in just jeans, and once during a very heated make-out session towards the end of their relationship. She noted how his body had changed since then. His arms looked strong, his chest more defined. Her breathing spiked once again and she felt those familiar tingles. She dropped her gaze as he pulled on the oodies, so he wouldn't catch her ogling him.

"You can hang those on the towel rack in the bathroom if you like, it's heated," she pointed to his wet clothes.

"Sure, thanks," and he wandered into the bathroom.

Rory took the opportunity to take a deep breath to try to calm her nerves. _What is he doing here? Does he want to talk? Does he want to yell at me some more? Does he want something else...? Do I want that? I don't know!_

He returns to the room and they stand in awkward silence again. He's the one to finally break it.

"I just wanted to...to sort some things out. I don't want you to leave here after that...that confrontation." She's silent so he continues, running a hand through his hair and sighing. "I wanted to kiss you Rory. I wanted to kiss you _so_ badly, you have no idea." _Oh, I think I do,_ she thinks. "It's just...after last time, you showing up here and that kiss and you leaving...I don't think I could take that again. If anything _did_ happen between us, you're leaving the day after tomorrow, so what then? I'm alone again, having had a little dose of the Gilmore drug that always leaves me wanting more?"

"God," he yells, turning his back on her and hiding his face in his hands. "Every time, this happens." He whirls around and he's yelling now. "I think I've finally gotten over you, and then you show up, reminding me that no matter how hard I try, you're always gonna be there. The one who makes me feel more alive than anyone else I've ever met." His voice softens as he finishes his train of thought. "You said earlier you thought I was brave...well I don't feel brave around you. Because you terrify me Rory. When you're around, I feel so small. What you make me feel...that scares me more than anything else in the world."

He lets out a long sigh, like he's been holding that all in for years and he's relieved it's finally all out in the open.

After a long pause, Rory finally responds. "Wow. I don't know what to... I mean I..." she trails off.

"Just be honest with me Rory. What. Do. You. Want?"

"I don't know!" she yells back.

"It's really simple Rory, there's only one question. Do you still have feelings for me?" he asks.

"Of course I do! I'll always have these feelings for you Jess. But that's not the question! The question is how can this possibly work?"

"That doesn't matter!" he yells. "It just doesn't matter Rory. What matters is how we feel, all the logistics, we can work them out later. If there's something here, then we'll sort something out. But I need to know how you feel and I need to know now. Because if you can honestly tell me you don't feel the same way I do, then I need to leave here right now, while I still have a chance of recovering."

She stares down at the floor, trying to form a coherent sentence in her head, one that conveys what she really wants to say.

"I will _always_ have these feelings for you Jess," she whispers. "You make me feel like no one else ever has. You've always had this power over me, I don't know how you do it!" she laughs to herself. Right, crunch time Gilmore, like a band aid, quick and painless. "When you're around, I can't think straight. I'm totally and completely confused. I can't breathe when you're near me and when you touch me, my whole body tingles. It's always been that way with you and honestly, I think it always will be." She takes a deep breath, relieved that she'd had the courage to tell him that.

"But what's changed? We didn't work out before, how can we possibly work out now?" she asks.

"We're totally different people now Rory!" he snaps back, moving closer to her. "I'm not that kid anymore, who left you, who hurt you. And you're certainly not that girl anymore, you're this incredible, beautiful woman and I want the chance to get to know her."

He was standing very close to her now. "What if it doesn't work Jess? You said yourself, you don't think you could take that again."

"But what if it does Rory? What if it does work?" she takes a huge breath to try to calm the tingles soaring through her body. "Do you really want to spend the rest of your life wondering? Wondering if it could have worked? If we could've been happy?" He takes her hands in his. "I know I've screwed up before, but I promise you, if we do this, I will put _everything_ into making this work, into making you happy. I've let you go too many times Rory and I will not let you go this time without a fight."

She took another deep breath to steady herself and looked up into his eyes. "God, 2 days ago I hadn't seen you in over a year and now we're here, talking about this. It's just all so fast."

"Really? 'Cause to me it feels like it's been 7 years in the making." And with that, he drops her hands and gently takes her face in his hands, pulling her to him. His lips are on hers, gently testing her reaction. When her hands go to his waist, he pulls her closer, his hands moving into her hair. He deepens the kiss, making her gasp, her mouth opening slightly. But his tongue remains in his mouth, he's taking it slowly. His head tilts from one side to the other, alternating between slow, deep kisses and quick, soft ones. She's on fire. Every part of her. His hands burn a trail down her back as his arms wrap around her and she brings her arms up around his neck. She remembers him always being good at this part, but the memories don't come close to how he's making her feel right now. Eventually, his hands return to her face, thumbs stroking her cheeks and he slows the kiss down, finally placing one last long kiss on her lips, leaving her wanting more, so much more.

"Well, at least we know that part still works," he laughs, his voice gravelly, reminding her of their first real kiss years ago. They both laugh and she leans her forehead against his chest, trying to control her breathing. He wraps his arms around her back, running a hand softly through her hair.

After a minute, their breathing begins to return to normal. Rory pulls back to look at him and can't help the grin that spreads across her face. "You always were good at that part," she giggles.

He laughs. "And we haven't even gotten to the best part yet." His eyes burn into her, he looks so sexy and ruffled, still wearing her oodies. All the blood in her body shoots south and she longs to know what _the best part_ will be like with him.

"I should go," he quickly says, releasing her.

"What?!" she's snapped out of her reverie.

He interrupts immediately. "Rory, the way you're looking at me right now, I _have_ to go. Because if I don't, in about 30 seconds, I'm gonna need to see what's under that robe...which I'm guessing is not a lot. So I need to go, right now, before I do something stupid."

"And why, exactly, would that be stupid?" she taunts him.

He chuckles. "Rory," he takes her face in his hands again. "I want you. Badly." She gulps. "But I am not about to ruin what could be the best chance we ever get, by moving too fast with you." He plants a sweet, chaste kiss on her lips and moves towards the door. Opening it, he turns to find her walking towards him.

"Can I see you tomorrow?" She nods in response.

She's leaning against the open door now, robe pulled tightly around her. He moves back towards her again, his hands sliding round her waist. Pushing her up against the open door, so it bangs against the wall, his lips are on hers, hot and powerful. She's surprised by his sudden movement and gasps into his mouth. This time, Jess wastes no time in sliding his tongue across her lower lip. When she doesn't push him away, he lets his tongue slide into her mouth, colliding with hers. She moans and he thinks it's the sexiest sound he's ever heard. All the blood rushes to his groin and he feels himself twitch. As her tongue caresses his urgently, he pushes his whole body against hers for some friction, causing her to rise up on her toes. She wraps her arms around him and kisses him with all the passion she can muster. Finally, he comes to his senses and realises if he doesn't stop now, he'll pass the point of no return. He snaps away from her, holding her at arms length and then stumbles into the corridor.

"God Rory, you'll be the death of me."

She's speechless after that kiss and simply leans her head back against the door and breathes deeply.

"I'll call you tomorrow," he says simply, and with that, he turns and walks down the corridor, not trusting himself enough to look back.


	7. Chapter 7

Her alarm sounds at 8 o'clock, waking her from her interrupted sleep. She's woken several times during the night, images of the evening running through her mind. She knew she had to get up a little earlier than she needed for the speech, but in the madness of the last couple of days, she had some work to catch up on.

She's out the door at 10.15, giving herself plenty of time to grab some coffee and breakfast on the way to the University. She's paying for her coffee when her cell phone vibrates against her hip. Fishing it out, she glances at the caller ID and there goes her damn heartbeat again.

"Hi," is all she can muster.

"Hi." After a long pause, she laughs.

"Well this is a successful phone conversation," she quips.

"People will study it." Another pause. "So, I guess we should talk, about last night."

"You know what…we can't do this over the phone, it's too important." She makes a snap decision. "Are you busy tonight?"

"Not particularly. Unless you count fighting over what we're gonna name our future, and may I add fictional, bar with the guys and playing Xbox."

"Do you wanna come to this benefit with me? It'll be totally boring for you and there'll be no food and you'll have to pay for the drinks, but we could talk."

"Well gee, you've sold it to me so well," he laughs. She waits nervously. "Sure, I'll be there."

"Seriously? It's black tie!"

"Haha! I'm sure I can rustle something up."

"OK, well it starts at 7.30 and I have to be there on time, the fashionably late entrances are saved for the important people. Want me to swing by yours in a cab?"

"No I'll come get you, you're not that far. 7.15 OK?"

"Perfect. I'll see you then."

There's another silence until his voice interrupts, soft and shy.

"Rory?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't regret it…..any of it."

She sighs, those damn butterflies are back. "Me neither. I'll see you tonight."

"Bye." She hangs up the phone, collects her coffee from the table where she stood it and sets off on her way to work.

It's 5pm. _How is it 5pm already?_ The event had run until about 1.30 and she'd dashed home to write up her notes, grabbing a salad on her way. She needed to start getting ready and those pesky butterflies were beginning to rear their heads. She showered, washed and dried her hair and rummaged through her suitcase to look for something to wear. She didn't have much choice with her and she'd barely unpacked since she got here. What was the point? She had a few evening options and chose her favourite, a dark green satin dress which gathered at the waist and then hung down to her knee. She found some black matching underwear, the bra giving her just the right amount of cleavage for this dress. She kept telling herself this was unnecessary, that no one was going to see it tonight, but she wanted to feel confident and besides, who knew what could happen tonight. _Oh shut up Gilmore, what would your mother say if she knew you were thinking about sleeping with your ex-boyfriend when you only kissed last night?_

She sat in her robe, applying make-up, keeping it natural except for her eyes, which she lined with a smoky pencil and added some dark grey eye shadow. It was 6.30, she had time to do something with her hair. She turned on her straighteners, deciding to curl it, not too much, just so that it hung in loose waves over her shoulders. At 7 o'clock, she slipped into her dress, applied some perfume and chose a pair of black heels. She sat on the edge of the bed and tried to calm her nerves. She had never been this nervous for a date before. _Is this even a date? I'm working!_ She took a few deep breaths and jumped when she heard a knock on the door. _He's early!_ Walking to the door, she checked through the peephole. There he stood, jacket flung over his shoulder, looking as nervous as she was. She opened the door and smiled at him, he looked gorgeous.

His free hand flew up to his chest, his palm splayed out as if to control his heartbeat.

"Oh my god, you look incredible."

She blushed. "Thank you," she replied. "You look….really sexy." She blushed even more, if possible, gave a nervous laugh and looked down.

"Sorry I'm early, it didn't take as long as I thought to get here."

"That's OK, I'm almost ready, come in for a sec." She let him in and he brushed past her. "I just have to grab a jacket and go to the bathroom and I'm good."

She busied herself while Jess watched. Watched how that dress moved around her body, watched how her legs looked in those heels, watched the way her hair fell, watched her apply some lip-gloss to her already gorgeous lips. _Wow, this woman. She's….I can't even describe it_.

After she's done in the bathroom, she takes a minute to lean against the sink and try to control her breathing. _Wow, this man. He looks incredible. I can't breathe._ She finally emerges into the main room, grabs her jacket and purse and turns to him.

"Ready to go?" she asks with a smile.

"Not quite," he replies, his eyes burning into hers. He moves bravely towards her, sliding his left hand around her waist as his right cups her cheek. He places a gentle kiss on her lips, but she can't leave it at that. She throws her purse and coat on the bed and wraps her arms around his neck, kissing him more deeply. He groans and his tongue comes out to tease at her lips. Sighing, she lets him in and he strokes her tongue gently with his. Her whole body is on fire and she's tingling everywhere, especially in places where she shouldn't be. Running her hands through his hair, she slows down the kiss, afraid of what she might do if she doesn't, and they reluctantly break apart.

Their foreheads rest against one another's. "Oh my God," he finally manages through laboured breaths.

"Yeah," is all she can reply with.

"Come on, we'd better go. Right now." And with that, she picks up her coat and bag and they head out the door, both their heads fuzzy and their bodies on fire. It was going to be a long night.

When they arrive at the benefit, it's already busy. She checks the time on her phone, 7.35, only a little late. She scans the room for faces she knows and spots a few dotted around, people she knows from the campaign trail.

"Drink?" she asks Jess. He nods and guides her through the crowd towards the bar, his hand on her lower back. She likes that, that he's protective of her.

They order, a gin and tonic and a beer, and Rory leads Jess towards a group of 3 people she knows, 2 of which work for a paper in Washington and 1 who works on publicity for the campaign.

"Hey!" she's greeted by all 3 when they arrive at the group. Warm smiles greet them and they eye Jess suspiciously.

"Hi everyone. Guys this is Jess, my….uh, he's an old friend of mine. Jess this is Kara, Martin and Louis, I know them from the trail."

"Hey man," the taller guy says and extends his hand to Jess. He shakes all of their hands and Kara blushes as she shakes his. They all talk for a while, mainly about the campaign, and Jess marvels at watching Rory talk about work. She's so knowledgeable and opinionated, it's incredibly sexy.

"Ooh, I see Naomi. Wish me luck everybody!" The tall man runs off in the direction of the leggy blonde near the bar.

"Who's Naomi?" Rory asks.

"A super-hot babe that Martin has absolutely no chance with," replies Louis. "He's always after her, delusional freak."

They all laugh and continue to chat until it's time for the speeches. They find seats and Rory produces a mini recorder and a notepad from her purse. _"How did she fit all that in there?"_ Jess thinks to himself.

An hour of speeches commence. Jess listens as carefully as possible, partly out of interest and partly so he can keep up with the conversation with Rory afterwards. She nods and laughs in all the right places, totally engrossed, making notes throughout. He smiles as he watches her, completely passionate about her work.

When they're done, the party starts up. It's almost 9.30. Rory introduces Jess to a few more people and they make small talk about the campaign. When Jess excuses himself to find the bathroom, he kisses Rory on the cheek and within seconds, Louis and Kara are immediately by her side again.

"Right. Spill. Who is that gorgeous man?" asks Kara.

"Uhhh, he's…."

"Oh come on!" interrupts Louis. "A year we've known you and not once have you bought a date to any of these things! Start talking, quickly, before he gets back."

"He's an old friend from where I grew up."

"An old friend?" Kara raises her eyebrows. "Bullshit! Old friends don't look at me with those eyes."

"Ok, ok, so he's an old boyfriend. We just got back in touch recently and we're…I dunno, it's complicated."

"What do you mean, complicated?" Louis questions.

Rory sighs. "We hurt each other, a lot. We've sort of been dancing around each other since we were 17." All of a sudden she shivers and a wave of sickness comes over her. "I really don't know what we are, what we're doing," she frowns.

"Sorry babe, we didn't mean to upset you. You okay?" asks Louis, putting an arm around her shoulders.

Before she can reply, Jess is back with them. Kara apparently decides to take things into her own hands.

"So, Jess. How long have you and Rory been together?"

He practically chokes on his mouthful of drink. Rory eyes Kara angrily but the damage has been done.

"Um, we…..I mean we're…..just, sort of. Um."

Kara interrupts. "That's exactly what Rory said. I think maybe we need to leave you two alone to talk. Bye you guys!" And with that, she drags Louis off, leaving the two of them in stunned silence.

Rory giggles nervously. "Sorry about that, she's a bit of a busybody. You wanna go? There's no more speeches now."

"Uh," he pauses. For a long time. "Actually, I think we should dance." He nods towards the dance floor where lots of people have congregated. The band starts up a slow song and people begin to pair up.

"You? Dance? Jess Mariano? THE Jess Mariano?! He doesn't dance, surely!"

He leans close to her ear, a hand on her lower back and whispers, "There's a lot you still don't know about me Gilmore."

She tingles everywhere and takes a deep breath to steady herself. _How does he make that so seductive?_ She smiles at him and he leads her to the dance floor, burying them in the centre of couples so they can't be seen by the rest of the room.

They face each other and both giggle softly. He takes her hands and pulls her gently to him, wrapping his right arm around her waist and keeping her right hand in his, held close to their chests. She wraps her left arm around his upper arm, resting on his shoulder and they sway to the music.

"So," he interjects, "she was right. We should talk about this. About what we're doing." She just nods so he continues. He sighs deeply, looking down at their hands. "I don't want this to end. I don't want you to leave tomorrow and things just go back to the way they were. I'm totally in this, again. You…you do these things to me." He takes a long pause. "I want to see if we can make this work. Finally, once and for all, maybe now, after everything, this is our chance. I want you."

She smiles, her heart leaping out of her body at the words this man has just said to her. "I want that too. I want to try, I do, but….what if it doesn't work. Again! You make me feel like no one else ever has, and now that I remember what that feels like, I don't know if I could lose it again. Lose you again." She's pulled herself closer to him now, so that their bodies are pressed up against one another. Jess takes a sharp intake of breath at their closeness, a familiar feeling spreading all over his body.

He lets go of her hand and brings his hand up to her cheek, thumb brushing softly over it. "I am not gonna do anything stupid this time Rory, I'm a different person now. But I want this to work…and I am not letting you go again. I think….I think we needed to break up all those years ago. I think we needed to be apart, find out who we are, grow up! And now…now maybe it's finally time for us to come back together again, older, wiser." She laughs at this last description and buries her face in the side of his neck, clinging to him as they continue to sway.

"Maybe you're right," she responds and closes her eyes. He wraps his arms around her back, holding her close. When the song ends, she pulls away. He keeps his arms around her, reluctant to let go.

"Come on," she says, "let's go back to yours." His eyes widen in response. _Does she want more tonight?!_ "Not like that!" she laughs. "You can make me some coffee. I'm not ready to leave you just yet." He smiles and lets her lead him towards their coats and out the door.


	8. Chapter 8

As they stand on the curb, Jess tries to hail a cab. "So, my place huh?" he asks with a raised eyebrow.

She smiles, "Not what you're thinking Mariano. Just the coffee this time."

He smirks as he briefly thinks about what _next time_ might be like. He gets a cab and opens the door for her. After giving the driver an address, he takes Rory's hand in his, rubbing his thumb across her palm. They spend most of the journey in silence. Not awkward, but blissful, comfortable silence. Jess pays the driver and they step out into the cold, Philly evening. It's 10.45 by the time they reach the apartment upstairs, but it's empty and quiet.

"The guys must be down at the bar," Jess states as he flicks on the lights. He strides over to the kitchen and starts making coffee, while Rory takes off her coat and hangs it on the peg by the door. She kicks off her shoes in the corner and moves towards Jess, watching him move with ease around the kitchen. She rests against the back of the sofa, a smile creeping onto her face. _He's so sexy_, she thinks. She takes a deep breath and looks down, trying to control her breathing. When she looks up, he's staring right at her, smiling.

"Come here," he gestures softly. She stands up and moves towards him, his eyes burning into hers. The coffee pot hums in the background. As she reaches him, he holds out his hands to her and she takes them. Drawing her into his body, her breath hitches and her chest tightens. His hands find her cheeks, smoothing her hair away and cupping her face. He presses his lips to hers softly, testing to see her reaction. A small mew escapes her, almost a moan, but not quite. He tilts his head, deepening the kiss and slides his hands to her waist. Hers come up over his shoulders and her hands run through his hair. He pulls her closer as her hands grasp in his hair, holding him to her. She pushes her body into his and he stumbles backwards a little, finding the edge of the worktop. Wrapping his arms more fully around her small body, he turns them around so that she's pressed up against the work surface. His tongue comes out to tease at her lips, running over them softly. She moans this time, _definitely a moan_, and Jess takes her face in his hands again, tilting her head more and kissing her passionately as she runs her hands down over his chest.

She's _never_ felt like this before! Passion burns through her body, his hands, his mouth, his body, driving her insane with every nip, kiss and touch. His mouth leaves hers and moves along her jaw, travelling down her neck to suck at her collarbone.

"God, Jess," she moans and her hands move back to his hair, holding him there. As he pushes his hips into hers, she feels it and gasps. He stops and pulls back to look at her, his body not moving from hers.

"I can't help it," he responds, eyes dark, voice low and sexy. "I want you so badly Rory."

At that moment, they hear a key in the lock and Jess pushes back from her, both breathing heavily.

"I'm just saying, she was totally into me," Chris boats.

"Oh yeah, that's why she spent the whole night ignoring you, talking to the guy at the bar and refusing to give you her phone number!" Matt replies.

"That's how they do it man! Keep you on your toes!"

They both stop dead as they spot the couple in the kitchen, Rory still leaning against the surface, flushed, and Jess busying himself with some cups.

"Hey guys! Didn't expect to see you here!" Chris says happily.

"Hey man," Jess responds with his back still turned to them. Rory wondered if he was trying to calm himself down before he turned around, she was grateful, she didn't want them seeing that!

"Sorry, we didn't mean to interrupt, we didn't think you guys would be home this early."

Rory spoke up, "The benefit was quietening down, so we thought we'd get some coffee before I head back."

"Uh huh," Chris smirked. "Sure. Well we'll get…..out of your way. If we don't see you in the morning Rory, it was really nice to meet you."

"You too," she blushed.

"Night," gestured Matt as he followed Chris down the corridor towards the bedrooms.

As they left, Jess turned and handed her a cup of coffee. She smirked at him as she took it and before he let go, he planted a quick kiss on her lips. He nodded towards the couch and they moved towards it, sitting down side by side. Rory tucked her legs underneath her and they both unconsciously moved their bodies to face each other a little more.

As they drank, they talked. They talked about her work, his work and how Jess enjoyed living in Philly. A while after their cups were drained, Jess asked,

"Do you remember when I helped you fix that guy's sprinkler?"

She laughed, "Yeah, you made it look so easy! Why'd you ask?"

"I almost kissed you, right then and there. I wanted to so badly. I think I would have if…"

"Dean, hadn't paged me," she interrupted.

"Yeah." They fell into silence, both their heads looking down at their hands, until she spoke up.

"Well you're lucky." When he answered with an inquisitively raised eyebrow, she continued, "You can kiss me now. Whenever you want."

He smiled, "Is that right?"

She nodded slowly, eyes locked with his. He slowly raised his body up, shifting so his legs tucked underneath himself, eyes never leaving hers. His right arm braced against the back of the couch while his left moved to her face, gently cupping her cheek. Her eyes closed and she felt him move his body closer to hers. Her heart was racing, the anticipation was driving her wild. She finally felt his lips on hers, softly exploring, and within seconds, passion erupted between them. Both of her hands went into his hair, pulling him closer. His hands moved to her waist and around her back, pulling her closer still. Their mouths opened, tongues pushing insistently against one another. He nibbled and sucked, moving his lips to her neck, giving her a moment to breathe. His body was pressed so hard against hers that she could barely stay upright, so she leaned back, bringing him down on top of her, so they were horizontal on the couch. His lips travelled back up to her mouth and he deepened the kiss further, though she wasn't aware this was even possible. Instinctively, she parted her knees and he moved between her legs, settling some of his weight on her. She let out a soft moan, she'd rarely had the chance to feel him in this position. He moaned in response, deep and throaty, and his hips pushed slightly into hers. She gasped for breath and threw her head back a little. His lips once again travelled down her neck and to her collarbone, moving across her chest to the other side. She was burning up, the feel of his lips on her, his hands kneading her sides. She knew she would have to stop him, she didn't want things to go too far tonight. It was still so soon. He pushed his hips into her again and a moan escaped her lips, a full on moan this time.

"Jess, god. We can't. We can't….not yet."

He let out a big puff of air and let his forehead rest on her clavicle, lips resting against her chest still.

"I know….I know. My god Rory, how do you do this to me?" he asked rhetorically as his lips found hers for one last, long, lingering kiss. They broke apart slightly, staring at each other intently, trying to control their breathing. Eventually, he climbed off her and they moved back to sit next to one another.

"Wow," she mused. He chuckled and ran his hands through his hair. "I guess I should go. What time is it?"

He glanced at the clock on the oven. "Almost midnight, you can't go now, it's not safe. Plus it's cold and wet, I'd worry about you. Stay here, I'll sleep on the couch."

"No don't be silly," she took his hand, running her thumb over his knuckles, "I can't kick you out of your own bed. I'll get a cab, really it's fine."

"No, it's not," he immediately responded. "You're not going out there at this time of night. Stay in my room, I'll be fine on the couch."

She was quiet for a moment, thinking this proposition over. "Or…you could stay with me, in your bed."

His head snapped up to look at her.

"I'll be good, I promise," she continued with a small smile. "I just…think it'd be nice to wake up with you. We've never done that before."

He smiled at her sweet gesture. "I'm not sure you understand my level of willpower Gilmore. I'm not sure I can sleep in a bed with you and not do anything about it."

"Well it takes two to tango Mariano, so you'll just have to keep your hands to yourself won't you." And with that, she stood up, held out her hand to him and led them towards his bedroom.


	9. Chapter 9

She found a sea of doors down the corridor and stopped dead, looking between them. Jess chuckled softly behind her and put his hands on her shoulders, leading her to the last door on the left. She opened it and he gently guided her inside, pushing the door almost shut behind them.

"So, this is it. Where the magic happens! Casa Jess, eh?" she mused, looking around the room. He had a double bed, with a bedside table to one side, a wardrobe in the corner and a large bookshelf running along one wall underneath the window. She walked immediately to it, running her hands across the spines and mentally noting ones she would ask to borrow from him. He watched her from near the door, exploring inquisitively and lost in her favourite world of literature. Suddenly, she whirled around.

"Hey! This is mine!" She was holding an old battered copy of 'Howl'.

"Ah," he squirmed. "Yeah, well. I had it when….when I left." He looked down. "I guess I never found a good time to return it to you."

An awkward silence passed between them, neither of them enjoyed thinking back to that time. Finally, she spoke.

"Well, I'm taking it back now. And I might have to borrow a few of these too," she gestured to the vast shelf behind her.

"I think that can be arranged," he smiled at her.

Another silence.

"So, I didn't really think this through," she said as she moved slowly towards him, placing the book on the end of his bed. "I don't have anything to sleep in, a toothbrush or anything to wear tomorrow!"

He laughed and slid his hands round her waist as she approached him.

"I think I can sort you out there. I can lend you something to sleep in and I'm pretty sure I have a spare toothbrush in the bathroom."

She raised her eyebrows, bringing her hands up to rest on his chest. "Used to houseguests are we?"

He laughed again, "No, nothing like that. It's reserved for very special people only."

She smiled at him and leant up on her tiptoes to kiss him softly. His hands played with her dress at her waist, bunching it up in his hands and her hands slid to his strong shoulders to brace herself. They kissed softly, neither wanting to get too worked up, knowing they were in dangerous territory now. Between kisses, he spoke.

"I'll find you…..something…..to sleep in."

"Mmmmm," was all she could reply with.

They eventually broke apart, smiling at each other, and Jess let her go to find her a t-shirt and some sweatpants. He led her to the bathroom, his hand on her lower back, like he couldn't bear to not be touching her. He gave her the toothbrush, a soft, lingering kiss and left her to get changed. She stripped off, brushed her teeth and washed her face, trying to get her make-up off with just water – damn boys and their lack of products in here! She pulled on the t-shirt, noting how it smelled of him and took a minute to breathe in his scent. She'd missed that. Then she pulled on the sweatpants and laughed as they pooled round her feet. They were huge, ridiculously huge, she couldn't wear these! She pulled them off, checking that the t-shirt covered her enough. It did, reaching down to mid-thigh. She gathered up her things and headed back down the corridor towards his room. He was just pulling on a t-shirt when she entered, displaying his toned back to her, and she took a second to stare at the well-defined, gorgeous man, dressed only in a t-shirt and boxers, whose bed she was about to sleep in. As he turned, he took a sharp intake of breath.

"What?" she questioned.

"No! No, you absolutely, cannot wear that Rory." He was staring unashamedly at her legs. "I may have a certain degree of willpower but, no, nu-uh, cannot deal with that." He was shaking his head furiously and she laughed.

"Oh don't be ridiculous. I'll get straight into bed, you'll never notice. Which side is yours?"

He gestured to the side nearest the door, so she crossed the room, being careful not to brush up against him, and slid into the side nearest the window. He said nothing, speechless, then let out a long puff of air and walked out the door to the bathroom.

While he was gone, she decided she'd better check her work emails. After all, she'd been a bit distracted these last few days and had sort of neglected work. She fished her Blackberry out of her bag and checked and replied to a few messages. He returned a few minutes later with 2 glasses of water.

"Just thought I should catch up on a little bit of work, I've been kind of distracted the last few days," she voiced her thoughts to him.

He smirked, "Yeah I know the feeling." He sat on his side of the bed and handed her a glass of water. She thanked him, took a sip and placed it on the floor by the bed, putting her phone a little further away in case of spillages.

"You know, not having a bedside table on this side, kind of gives off the eternal bachelor impression. You're turning into Luke."

"Ha!" he scoffed. "In case you hadn't noticed, my uncle is quite the committed man these days."

She smiled, thinking of how happy her mom and Luke finally were, living together in her childhood home. Jess placed his water on the table next to him and pushed back the covers, joining her in bed. They sat there for a minute, backs resting against the headboard, before glancing at each other and simultaneously bursting out laughing.

"I guess this is kind of new for us," he stated.

"Yeah. It's a little weird. I mean we never exactly got very far in the old days did we?"

He smiled and she added quietly, "Not that I didn't want us to."

He turned to look at her immediately and raised an eyebrow. "You did?"

"Well, yeah. I mean, I wanted to be with you….really be with you. We just never quite got there."

He looked down again, frowning, fingers playing with the blanket, contemplating something.

"I wanted that too, really I did." He looked back at her again. "But that night Rory," he let out a big breath, exasperated. "I go over and over that night in my mind. I _never_ should have pushed you like that. Never _ever_. I'm _so_ sorry. I'd just found out I wasn't graduating and I just took it out on you. I know that's no excuse but, I just want you to know I'm sorry."

She took his hand. "I know. It's not that that hurt me so much, I wanted to sleep with you Jess, not there, not like that, but I did want to. It's the fact that after the fight, you looked straight at me and just left, walked away. I would have been there for you, listened, made sure you were ok. I would have gone anywhere with you, to do whatever you wanted to do….," she trailed off.

"I thought you were disappointed with me. That you would have sided with _him_. I was so messed up Rory. I had no future, no prospects. I wasn't good for you."

Another long silence passed between them, their hands still grasped, thumbs stroking each other's knuckles.

"You're different now," she finally said. "You're right, we couldn't have stayed together, I see that now. I was going off to college and it just wouldn't have worked. We would have ended up resenting each other. But now…."

"Now here we are," he smiled. "Finally in the same place? Not geographically of course! But you know what I mean."

"Yeah, I do," she smiled back.

He turned to his left and flicked off the bedside light. "Let's get some sleep, you'll be exhausted for your journey tomorrow. What time do you have to be up?"

"My bus doesn't leave until noon, but I'd like to have some time with you first. If you're not too busy," she added.

"Never too busy for you." She couldn't really see him now, but she could tell he was smiling and he leaned in and gave her a sweet kiss. He reached behind him to set an alarm. "8 ok?"

"Yeah, sounds good."

He settled back down on his side, facing her, but left a couple of feet between them. After a moment, she decided to be bold.

"You know, you don't have to leave _that_ big a gap, I don't bite. Well, only sometimes."

He giggled softly. "I am fully aware of what you're wearing under this blanket. And I promised to keep my hands to myself."

"You don't have to keep them completely to yourself."

He swore his heart stopped. He chuckled again, "Rory, I swear to god, you are pushing my willpower to the very limit here."

"Oh shut up." She moved herself towards him, putting her hands on his chest and feeling his warmth. "Mmmm that's better, much warmer."

"You cold?" he asked, voice full of concern.

"A little, nothing a warm Jess Mariano won't fix."

He chuckled again, _she's clever_, he thought, but he brought his left arm up and over her, his hand resting on her back. She closed her eyes and sighed a content little sigh. Instinctively, he pulled her a little closer and she moved into him, so their chests were touching, her head resting on the pillow, just tucked gently under his chin. He pressed his lips against her hair, giving her a gentle kiss on the top of her head. She peered up at him, her eyes had adjusted to the dark, and his left hand moved from her back to brush her hair away from her face. Their lips met gently, sending tingles through Rory's body to the tips of her toes. His hand moved to the back of her head, tangling in her hair and angling her face up to his. Her right hand slid round his waist and toyed with the hem of his t-shirt. He groaned into her mouth and her tongue peeked out to tease at his lips. He took in a big breath of air and plunged his tongue into her mouth, stroking hers sensually. Her right leg lifted up slightly to wrap around his and she used it to align their lower bodies. He moaned again, kissing her more forcefully as his left hand slid down from her hair, down her back, across her bum and rested on her bare thigh, stroking the soft skin. She was on fire, the way he was touching her. Desire coursed through her and made a beeline for the crucial point at which they were now touching, Jess pushing his hips into hers and her responding enthusiastically. She could feel him growing and this only turned her on more, that she could do this to him. He angled his head more, rolling his body so that he was slightly on top of her. Her right leg stayed bent at the knee, his hand still groping at her thigh, while his now freed right hand moved up to her hair. Her hands found the base of his back, slipping under his t-shirt to stroke the warm skin. As his left hand slid further up her thigh, towards her rear, hers slid further up his back, finding well defined muscles and dragging his shirt up with them. Her nails scratched lightly at his skin, emitting another groan from him and his head suddenly snapped away from hers, pulling back to stare down at her. She knew that was it – no more. His breathing was out of control, matching hers, and he stared down at her for a good minute before rolling off her and throwing an arm over his eyes.

"Jesus," he exclaimed.

"I know," she puffed.

After a few minutes of silence, his arm lowered. He'd calmed himself down a little, she'd felt exactly how worked up he was, pressed against her thigh just now. His head rolled to the side to look at her, no hint of a smile on his face.

"Come on, let's go to sleep."

She simply nodded and rolled onto her left side to face him, keeping her distance. He mirrored her and slung his left arm over her, his hand resting on the warm skin of her back just under her t-shirt, stroking softly. Neither of them spoke again and they both drifted off into a deep, peaceful sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

A man's voice woke her from a pleasant dream. Her eyes stayed closed as she tried to determine what was going on and she eventually realised the man was coming from the alarm clock. She was warm and comfortable. Jess was pressed up against her back, his warmth radiating through her, and his arm was wrapped comfortably around her, his hand resting on her upper stomach, just brushing the underside of her breasts. She felt him stir behind her, hand shifting a little to pull her closer. They lay there for a few minutes, listening to the music now coming from the radio. He must have known she was awake, as his lips were soon moving softly over the back of her shoulder, just visible where the t-shirt had slipped slightly. She smiled and mumbled,

"Hi."

She felt his lips curve into a smile as he replied. "Hi, yourself."

_What a perfect way to be woken up,_ she thought to herself. She let him continue for a while, lips exploring her soft skin, before rolling slowly onto her back, eyes still closed. He took advantage of this immediately, kissing her softly on her lips. Their mouths both remained closed, conscious of morning breath. She smiled into the kiss, but refused to open her eyes; she was so tired!

When she finally managed to open her eyes, there was no warm body pressed against her. She must have dozed off again, he was gone. She lifted her head off the pillow and looked around the room. She could hear voices down the corridor and, desperately not wanting to see any of Jess' roommates while she was dressed like this, she decided to stay right where she was. Sure enough, a few minutes later, the door creaked open and he entered, holding 2 cups of coffee.

"I thought you might be a little more chatty after this," he mocked as he handed her one of the cups.

"Mmmm," she replied.

"Not a morning person. I'm learning new things about you all the time Gilmore."

She smiled at this thought, she couldn't wait to learn everything about him. Sipping her coffee slowly, the world started to fall into place. She sat up straighter, leaning against the headboard and rubbed the sleep out of her eyes.

_She looks gorgeous,_ Jess thought to himself. _All sleepy and ruffled. God what I'd like to do right now….NO! Stop it! Don't even think about it. He felt himself twitch._

"So," he tried to steer his mind away from that. "We only have a couple of hours, anything you'd like to see in Philly before you go?"

"Um, well yeah, but I'd rather see them next time and just spend the morning here." She blushed as a thought crossed her mind, "I mean, uh, if you want me to come back another time." She stared down at the steam rising from the coffee in her hands.

"Are you kidding me? Don't even try to wriggle out of this one Gilmore. I want you back here. And I wanna come to you. Whenever we can."

Her eyes snapped to look at him and they stared into each other's eyes for a good few seconds. She smiled. He smiled.

"OK, well, good." She returned to drinking her coffee when, right on cue, her stomach groaned.

He laughed. "Silly me, forgetting to feed a Gilmore!" He leant over to kiss her softly, jumped off the bed and scurried out of the room. She used this opportunity to find the sweatpants he'd lent her, pulling them on and heading to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

When she was done, she padded to the kitchen, where she stood frozen in the doorway. She'd expected some cereal, or a pop-tart. But no, Jess Mariano was making eggs, bacon and toast. She stood and watched him for a while, once again admiring how gracefully he moved around the kitchen, dressed only in boxers and a t-shirt. Eventually, she walked over to him, making enough noise so that she wouldn't scare him and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind. He was warm and smelled amazing for so early in the morning. He moaned contently and turned his head over his shoulder to kiss her. She moved aside and hopped up onto the counter, sweatpants swinging round her ankles.

"So, I had no idea you could cook."

He smiled. "Like I said, there's a lot you don't know about me." They smiled at each other and he continued. "You'd be hard pressed to work in a diner and live with Luke for over a year and not learn a thing or two about cooking." He pushed the eggs around the frying pan with a spatula and tossed the bacon.

"You look sexy when you cook," she blurted out. She felt her cheeks redden immediately, _why had she just said that_?! She sat with her mouth hanging open, eyes wide, embarrassed. He smirked and walked slowly towards her.

"Is that right?" he teased with raised eyebrows.

Her pulse quickened, heart thumping in her chest as he braced his arms either side of her on the counter, spatula still in his right hand. She couldn't reply, her brain was too fuzzy to think of a witty response. He moved his body closer to hers, his face a little lower than hers in this position.

"What else do I look sexy doing?" He was teasing her. His lips moved to her neck to kiss her slowly. She closed her eyes and sighed. He pushed her legs apart with his left hand and moved to stand between them.

"Um," she tried to form words in her head. "You know…other stuff."

"Such as?" He wasn't going to let her get out of this. His head moved to the other side of her neck.

She sighed and whispered, "everything."

He pulled back to look at her, smiled, slid his left hand down to her rear and pulled her forwards towards him, so that she was balancing on the edge of the counter, held up by his body. His lips found hers and his hand dove into her hair. He kissed her softly, but with need and want. She noticed he'd brushed his teeth as his tongue came out to tease at her lips. She let him in, clinging to his upper body for support. His pushed his body into hers slightly, his stomach pushing into her just where she needed him. She moaned and pushed back, desperate for the friction. In between kisses, she mumbled, "your eggs will burn."

"So what?" he responded.

"So, you have a very hungry Gilmore here and if she's not fed soon, who knows what she'll do."

Reluctantly, he pulled away from her, chuckling and returned to the food.

They ate perched on stools at the breakfast bar, legs brushing against one another's every now and again. When they'd finished eating, Rory stood and took their plates to the sink.

"What are you doing?" Jess asked.

"Clearing up," she replied.

He chuckled. "Why?"

"Because, you cooked, it's only fair."

He approached her from behind, reaching around her to turn off the water. "You don't have to do that, you're a guest," he whispered, lips close to her ear.

"I don't mind," she bargained.

"But I do. We don't have much time left and I'd really, reeeaally like to take you back to bed."

She turned around and leant against the counter, he was framing her body once again with his hands.

"Well, you make it sound so appealing." She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly, his hands moving to her waist, pulling her in to him.

"Woah! Is it safe to come in?" they were interrupted. Looking over to the doorway, they saw Matt, frozen, with his hand covering his eyes.

Jess sighed and let go of Rory. "Yeah, it's safe. No need to be a drama queen about it."

Matt dropped his hand and walked into the kitchen, pouring himself some coffee.

"Morning Rory. I thought we'd see you again this morning."

She blushed and giggled. "Hi," she replied pathetically as Jess dragged her towards the small hallway and back into his room.

"Sorry about that," he said once the door was shut. "Roommates."

"It's ok, I've lived with Paris for a long time, trust me, she's worse."

He chuckled. "I can believe that!"

She glanced over at the clock. It was 8.45.

"What time do you need to leave?"

"I have to pack my stuff up, so I guess I'll leave here around 11, get a taxi back to my hotel."

"Ok." He moved slowly towards her, taking her hands in his. "So I can have my way with you for a while first then?" One corner of his mouth cocked up into a smirk.

"Well, that depends on what you think having your way with me means Mr Mariano." She looked down at the floor between them, she still didn't want to rush things, but was embarrassed to bring it up yet again.

"Hey," he said softly, tilting her chin up with his finger. "You know I don't mean _that_. Not yet. I was just, kind of, hoping to kiss you a bit more that's all." She smiled and relaxed into his hold as his hands went to her waist again. "And maybe," he paused as his lips went to her neck, "get you a little worked up again, like last night." Her breath hitched and he kissed her pulse point. "I like those noises you made."

Her eyes closed as she felt his warm breath on her neck, warm, wet kisses moving down toward her collarbone, his hands wrapping around her back and pulling her body closer. Her hands braced on his shoulders, finding well defined muscles and relishing in how safe and protected she felt in his strong arms.

He continued to nuzzle her neck, while his hands crept slowly under the hem of his t-shirt that she was still wearing. He gripped her waist under the shirt, fingers stroking her skin softly, but they didn't venture any higher. _'Not today_'_,_ he thought. '_Don't rush her.'_ He went back to her lips, kissing her softly, and she spoke between kisses.

"Can I….be….honest with you?" she asked breathlessly. He pulled back immediately, hearing the sincerity of her voice.

"Of course," he replied, suddenly serious.

"I don't know if I can take this again." She continued shyly when he looked puzzled. "You doing this to me, getting me all, how did you phrase it, worked up." He chuckled softly and brushed his nose lightly against hers. "I mean it's _great_, believe me! It's just…you're not the only one whose willpower is pretty weak right now." She was embarrassed, she could feel her cheeks reddening. "I want you," she stared deep into his eyes. "And let's just say…you make me feel…giddy…in all sorts of places. I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself again."

The air left his lungs. _That was the sexiest thing anyone has ever said to me_, he thought.

"Jess?" she broke his reverie. He must have been standing, staring, speechless.

"Sorry. I just…wow. That was incredibly sexy." He broke his hold on her and ran a hand through his hair. He loved that she blushed yet again and looked at the floor. She screamed when he lifted her right off her feet, arm hooked under her knees like a child. He grinned playfully and gently placed her in the centre of the bed, coming to lie down next to her, head propped up on his hand.

"So let's just talk."


End file.
